The origins of my porn addiction...

For as long as I can remember I've had a fixation on the taboo, which I think has lead to my obsession with pornography. Or maybe my porn obsession has lead to my love of the taboo. I sometimes try to think back to when I became so depraved, and decided this week to focus on my porn addiction. One moment in my childhood that stands out to me is when I was in late grade school or early middle school and was OBSESSED with Picasso. At the time I really wanted to be an artist and Pablo Picasso was my role model. Not only was he a great artist but he was weird (like me) and his art was weird and I greatly admired him. My family didn't have a computer back then so I took up most of my time reading books. I remember one particular book I checked out from the library called "Portrait of Picasso As a Young Man: An Interpretive Biography". The book itself was very interesting but what shocked me was the pictures! Since I was a kid, all I had ever seen of Picasso was his cubism work in my art classes. This book had EVERYTHING, from his smallest sketch to his nude self portraits to his most famous paintings. Unfortunatly I was unable to find a lot of the pictures that influenced me from the book online because they are so obscure. But out of what I DID find these are the two pictures that stood out to me the most:
 

(Self-Portrait of Picasso receiving fellatio from a french prostitute)

(Sketch by Picasso of a woman being fucked by a squid. This was my first introduction to "Tentacle Sex") 

I remember at first I was disgusted. I couldn't believe that my role model had been such a disgusting pervert! In the book it seemed as if Picasso didn't care about art at all and only went to France so that he could have unlimited sex with the prostitutes he used as models. On the other hand I also couldn't put the book down. I looked at the photos over and over, I couldn't keep away! The photos were so disturbing and yet so exciting. It wasn't that I was immature. I was used to looking at art books with nudity. Even Sister Wendy's Art books have nudity and she's a nun! But I had never seen actual sex acts in art and that is what had me so fascinated. And not just regular sex but finger fucking, oral sex, orgies, tentacle sex, the list goes on and on. So even from an early age I had discovered atypical sex. Therefore it was only destined that I would grow up to be not only a porn addict but a fetishist as well!